Of Sight

Next weekend I’m going to go for my first eye test since I was seeing @WelshPixie, her step-sister performed a contact lens eye test for me free of charge and I bought a pack of 21 day disposable lenses, which I still have more than half of left. This dates that test to nearly 4-5 years ago.

Previously to that I was probably running The Cross Inn, I remember buying the spectalcles I now wear specifically for the reason they were the bendable type so if I got punched in the head they wouldn’t break. Yup, they were amazing days. Those days were also nearly a decade ago…

So to say that I have ignored my eyesight is somewhat of an understatement. 

Anyone who knows me will have tried on my glasses at one time or another, simply because they are rather strong, if you’re pissed or high, wearing my specs will cause you to convulse and end up with a brain bubble, they also make people fall down steps once worn, a very hilarious effect which I wish I could see, but the bastards have my specs, so I can’t :/

Why haven’t I partaken in an eye test in such a long time I hear you ask. Well, I don’t know, I could have got one free when I was out of work, but my ennui was hugely deep at the time. Getting out of bed was a huge chore, turning up for an eye test would have been an event that would have needed a couple of weeks holiday beforehand as the stress would have crippled me. 

Saying that, the word ‘free’ should have boosted my arse into action. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to take advantage of such things, it just feels wrong if you know what I mean. I never thought I was a worthy recipient. Silly!

Anyhow, now I’m earning cold hard cash, I still never bothered to book a test, now the tests were too expensive, I’ll make do with my scratched to hell lenses. After all, I haven’t seen stars in at least a decade, what the fuck am I missing out on? Light pollution has put an end to staring into the sky anyway!

I’ll also add at this point that I have a family history of glaucoma and high blood pressure, so a yearly eye test is mandatory for me in a couple of years time and it will be free, thank fuck for the NHS. 

So all in all, I should have no problems with getting my eye test. I’m not phobic about it, i’m just apathetic about it.

The scary thing is, the only reason I booked my forthcoming eye test is because I found a Boots Opticians voucher that entitles me to an eye test for only £5 online. Now that its a bargain I’m well up for it. That must surely say something about my psyche.

So what I’m actually asking is, I wear glasses 24/7, my specs are me! I have had my glasses for so long now I don’t know how to change. Obviously I need to update my style but if i’m honest, my fashion sense is dictated by window dressers that manage to make a half plastic torso look good in a window, so I buy what I see in a window, especially if there’s a bit of purple involved. Then I stash it in my wardrobe, hardly wear it cos I feel silly and wear the usual bland T.shirt and jeans.

Help, I need a facial fashion expert!!!!