Life Laundry

I have decided that I have far too much ‘stuff’, in fact there’s so much of it, half of my living room is more or less storage. So I’ve decided to get rid of it all. If I haven’t used it in the last month, I probably don’t need it.

You see, I’m what you may call a hoarder. I always think that this or that might come in handy, so I best keep hold of it, just in case. In some cases this is a good thing. I have a box of cables in the wardrobe with hundreds of different adaptors and connections, in fact, when I lived in my previous block of flats people would knock on my door looking for such and such and I’d sort them out. Very useful for everyone but me, I never go into this box personally, all of my electronics have the right cables anyway. So that has to go!

I keep old clothes that may have been stained or got a bit worn. Obviously they are too good to throw away, they’ll do for the odd jobs in the garden or if I do any labouring work. The truth is, I never do any gardening and I swear on all that is high and mighty, I hope that I will never have to undertake manual labouring again, I feel too old for that shit. So old clothes, out you go!

I have three televisions in my living room, only one of them works and I never use it. My thinking here was when my original TV broke I thought I’d fix it, but I never got around to it. Then a neighbour was moving out and said she had a broken TV too, same model as mine so I said I’d take it, take any parts I wanted out of it to fix mine up. That TV hasn’t been touched and is gathering dust, just like my original box. Both of these need to be thrown out.

I got it into my head that I should make my own wine. Initially it was a great idea, I enjoyed the experiment, the tasty wine was lovely, but fruit tend only to ripen around August onwards, so I have a small collection of empty wine bottles and related fermenting bins etc.. Do I need them? No.

My old fish tank. It’s been empty for about two years. It’s still in the living room, mainly used as a thing to hang my coat. Mr Lee wants it, he’d better come and get it quick, otherwise that is going too!

I have a vast collection of VHS tapes, I don’t even own a video player. They are worthless to man and beast, why do I have them? They must go!

My collection of bank notes! I must have at least £5,000,000 under the bed, that has to go! Well maybe not, I was just checking to see if you bothered to read this far, if I had that amount of money I wouldn’t be blogging from this crumby flat, I’d be entertaining you from my yacht in the Bahamas. 

There you go, within the next couple of weeks I intend to empty this apartment of all superfluous items of rubbish that I have accumulated over the last three years and then some more. I want a minimalist life. Me, a chair and a laptop. This is my new mission!